"Excuses are like assholes, Kinder, everyone has one and they stink" - Frank Thomas, 1991
Coach had a point, but its not going to stop me. Excuse number one for why I haven't worked out since Monday... I did too many squats. I have literally been stumbling around like I got unwelcomed butt sex. Well, that might have been a bit extreme but sitting down and standing up is terrible.
Anyway, the rest of the excuses I can come up are stupid and just pathetic. Obviously I did not get to be this big by doing the right thing. Last night, I got into an argument with someone that I care about, and got pissed off. My anger overtook my willpower, so I ate some corndogs and cookies with my kids. They were happy, at the time I was happy... Later that night and today I have had a very large amount of regret though. Oh well, tomorrow is a new day right?
Today I plan to go to my first Yoga class. The Health and Wellness Center offers beginner Yoga on Tuesday and Thursday 1640 - 1720. This class is the whole reason I have joined the H&W center, I hope it isn't terrible, but I have to say. Plenty of people have accused me of joining just to stare at asses in yoga pants. While that isn't an unpleasant thought, it is not on the list of reasons for me joining. Hell, I seriously hope the class is full of people fatter and more out of shape than me. That would be splendid, because nothing terrorizes a fat guy like the fear of falling down in front of a class of hot chicks.
I will update ya on the fiasco that is my first Yoga class.. wish me luck.
Weight Loss So Far: 0
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Monday, April 6, 2015
Day 1 - April 6 '15
Welcome to the blog of Jason Kinder, 38 year old fat, lazy, divorced, lonely, smart ass guy. I know that people post this type of stuff on Facebook and it is annoying. Along with selling makeup, or the next magical drink that will help you shed weight while eating ho-hos. So I am going to put it all here, where you have to actually search it out to read it.
Read it or don't. I don't care. I am doing this for me, Lilah, Jonah, Jessie, and the Freckles of the world. I am sick of letting my lazy ass, and my stomach lead me through life. I am tired of being ashamed of who I am. Enough is enough. I will defeat Fred. Let me repeat that.
I WILL defeat Fred. No more being embarrassed of my gut, or my legs, or the chicken arms. Fuck that shit. Enough is enough. I will win.
Ok ok. So onto the workout for today:
Goblet Squat 45lbs x10, x10, x10, x10
Inclined Dumbbell Press 45lbs x8, x8, x8, x8
Dumbbell Row 50lbs x8, x8, x8, x8
Kettle bell Romanian Squat 35lbs x12, x12, x12
Did not do:
Kettle Bell Romanian Squat 35lbs x12
Reverse Lunge x10 (3 sets)
Lat Pull downs x10 (3 sets)
Because, well I almost vomited. Its the first day. Cut a fat ass some slack Jesus. Like you are super fit and could have blasted through this whole workout like a champ.
Also, walked 30 minutes. The beginning I didn't think I was going to be able to pick up and put down my legs enough to actually walk but I managed, somehow. It killed me a little bit.
Last thought for the day, as I think about how much weight I have to lose. I can't change yesterday, I can't change tomorrow, all I can do is be the best me I can be today. So I am going to.
So I am going to.
Weight Loss so far: 0 lbs
Read it or don't. I don't care. I am doing this for me, Lilah, Jonah, Jessie, and the Freckles of the world. I am sick of letting my lazy ass, and my stomach lead me through life. I am tired of being ashamed of who I am. Enough is enough. I will defeat Fred. Let me repeat that.
I WILL defeat Fred. No more being embarrassed of my gut, or my legs, or the chicken arms. Fuck that shit. Enough is enough. I will win.
Ok ok. So onto the workout for today:
Goblet Squat 45lbs x10, x10, x10, x10
Inclined Dumbbell Press 45lbs x8, x8, x8, x8
Dumbbell Row 50lbs x8, x8, x8, x8
Kettle bell Romanian Squat 35lbs x12, x12, x12
Did not do:
Kettle Bell Romanian Squat 35lbs x12
Reverse Lunge x10 (3 sets)
Lat Pull downs x10 (3 sets)
Because, well I almost vomited. Its the first day. Cut a fat ass some slack Jesus. Like you are super fit and could have blasted through this whole workout like a champ.
Also, walked 30 minutes. The beginning I didn't think I was going to be able to pick up and put down my legs enough to actually walk but I managed, somehow. It killed me a little bit.
Last thought for the day, as I think about how much weight I have to lose. I can't change yesterday, I can't change tomorrow, all I can do is be the best me I can be today. So I am going to.
So I am going to.
Weight Loss so far: 0 lbs
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
CrossFit Day 2
Day two started off with me dreading the weigh in. How do I explain to these people that while yes, I am a huge fat tub of goo, I am actually 100 lbs lighter fat tub of goo than I was two years ago. I don't guess it matters, it just makes me feel a tiny bit better about being a fat tank ass. Before class starts, Anna Johnson (that's not her name now but it is what she will always be to me, Hi Anna!) tells me that she showed this blog to the coaches.... wait for it... damn. Panic! Did I talk crap about them? Are they going to PT me until my guts fall out? Sigh.
Back to the nightmare. Out of the gate, Luke calls me to weigh in first. The whole time I am staring at the scale thinking I am going to run away in shame the second he announces me weight. Why? Its not like people look at me and think wow I bet he weighs 75 lbs. Why does it upset me so much that I am so heavy? Like I said, I have come a long way from where I was, shouldn't I be proud of that? No. Sadly, people see me they don't know what I used to look like. They don't look at me and think wow that dude has busted his ass and lost a bunch of weight. I would need to wear a name badge around that showed a picture of the old me. Instead they see a huge fat guy, and probably think, "does he know how hard this stuff is???" Yes. I do. I am well aware of how hard crossfit is. I know it is going to suck and hurt, and make me feel like a huge turd and a loser. I know this. BUT, I also know that if I stick with it, chew back the vomit, and continue to make myself get up off the ground, then one day it will suck less. Then less, then less, then maybe people will look at me and think, damn that dude must work hard for that body. And there it is, I am shallow. Hell yes I am. One day, I will look at myself in the mirror and see a good looking guy, not the husk of a man I see now. And I will be proud, because I will have worked my ass off to get it.
Anyway, back to the story. The weigh in was no big deal. He measured me, we made a few jokes about how friendly Crossfit is because of the hugs, blah blah. So it wasn't a big damn deal, and I will actually have documented proof of my progress not just estimates or guesses like I had with atkins.
After everyone gets weighed in, we sit and listen to him discuss the Zone diet. It is mostly stuff that I have read twice now, in Atkin's book, and the Engineering the Alpha guy. The Zone thing is much closer to EtA than to atkins, because it treats carbohydrates as important instead of as the enemy. To me it makes much more sense than Atkins. He goes over the basic design of the diet and mentions that they will email us our information so we can build our diets. I lost 100 lbs eating less than 20 carbohydrates, I'm pretty sure I can handle the Zone.
Just when I think we are done, he says, time to work out! 3 Burpees, followed by kettle bell swings. The breakdown goes like this, each minute is a cycle, you do 3 burpees, then as many swings as you can. End of the minute and it starts over, but you carry you swings on. Once you hit 75 swings you are done! I start out very well, 20 swings per min x2, then 10 swings x2, for those of keeping track thats 4 sets of 3 burpees. Let me make a side comment on burpees. Burpees can KISS MY ASS. I enter min number 5 sitting on 65 swings... no big deal right? i can do this. The three burpees take me 20 seconds or maybe 30. All i know is I looked up at that damn clock and thought, NO WAY I AM DOING MORE F'ING BURPEES! So honestly do not remember anything except the single thought, that I was NOT DOING MORE BURPEES! HELL NO. Somehow I managed at 5:59 to swing that last one.
I wont bore you anymore, but instead of stretching with the group, I sat on a chair and did everything I could, prayed to the GI Gods, promised to eat grass, donate more money to charity, be good to poor people, etc. if I didn't vomit inside of the gym. Then I staggered out, and drove home light headed. It amazes me that 6 mins of working out can completely destroy me. I wonder what Friday has in store for me?
Oh and Hi Luke, and Sara (if you read this again!)
Back to the nightmare. Out of the gate, Luke calls me to weigh in first. The whole time I am staring at the scale thinking I am going to run away in shame the second he announces me weight. Why? Its not like people look at me and think wow I bet he weighs 75 lbs. Why does it upset me so much that I am so heavy? Like I said, I have come a long way from where I was, shouldn't I be proud of that? No. Sadly, people see me they don't know what I used to look like. They don't look at me and think wow that dude has busted his ass and lost a bunch of weight. I would need to wear a name badge around that showed a picture of the old me. Instead they see a huge fat guy, and probably think, "does he know how hard this stuff is???" Yes. I do. I am well aware of how hard crossfit is. I know it is going to suck and hurt, and make me feel like a huge turd and a loser. I know this. BUT, I also know that if I stick with it, chew back the vomit, and continue to make myself get up off the ground, then one day it will suck less. Then less, then less, then maybe people will look at me and think, damn that dude must work hard for that body. And there it is, I am shallow. Hell yes I am. One day, I will look at myself in the mirror and see a good looking guy, not the husk of a man I see now. And I will be proud, because I will have worked my ass off to get it.
Anyway, back to the story. The weigh in was no big deal. He measured me, we made a few jokes about how friendly Crossfit is because of the hugs, blah blah. So it wasn't a big damn deal, and I will actually have documented proof of my progress not just estimates or guesses like I had with atkins.
After everyone gets weighed in, we sit and listen to him discuss the Zone diet. It is mostly stuff that I have read twice now, in Atkin's book, and the Engineering the Alpha guy. The Zone thing is much closer to EtA than to atkins, because it treats carbohydrates as important instead of as the enemy. To me it makes much more sense than Atkins. He goes over the basic design of the diet and mentions that they will email us our information so we can build our diets. I lost 100 lbs eating less than 20 carbohydrates, I'm pretty sure I can handle the Zone.
Just when I think we are done, he says, time to work out! 3 Burpees, followed by kettle bell swings. The breakdown goes like this, each minute is a cycle, you do 3 burpees, then as many swings as you can. End of the minute and it starts over, but you carry you swings on. Once you hit 75 swings you are done! I start out very well, 20 swings per min x2, then 10 swings x2, for those of keeping track thats 4 sets of 3 burpees. Let me make a side comment on burpees. Burpees can KISS MY ASS. I enter min number 5 sitting on 65 swings... no big deal right? i can do this. The three burpees take me 20 seconds or maybe 30. All i know is I looked up at that damn clock and thought, NO WAY I AM DOING MORE F'ING BURPEES! So honestly do not remember anything except the single thought, that I was NOT DOING MORE BURPEES! HELL NO. Somehow I managed at 5:59 to swing that last one.
I wont bore you anymore, but instead of stretching with the group, I sat on a chair and did everything I could, prayed to the GI Gods, promised to eat grass, donate more money to charity, be good to poor people, etc. if I didn't vomit inside of the gym. Then I staggered out, and drove home light headed. It amazes me that 6 mins of working out can completely destroy me. I wonder what Friday has in store for me?
Oh and Hi Luke, and Sara (if you read this again!)
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Cross Fit Day One:
Day one is in the books, and let me tell you damn! Here is a break down of my first time.
I show up to this place and it is crowded! I wasn't expecting this. I was hoping there wouldn't be any real crossfitters there, I was hoping it would be just us newbies. Nope, it is nothing but guys and gals walking around who are super in shape and don't look like they know what food is supposed to taste like. I know that is silly, but shit!
Class starts and i notice the five people in my group. He-man is there, a young 20 year old guy who is in great shape is there, an overweight woman (thank God!), an ex solider who has numerous scars, and then my fat ass. Sigh. Not looking great.
We start with warm ups. 5 Burpees, 10 push ups, and 10 sit ups. Ladies and gentlemen, start your anxiety!!! I cannot do a single push up, and I cannot do a single sit up. Burpees? What the fuck are these? sigh. Thankfully, the instructor informs us that warm ups don't matter. We can do them at our own speed, and on our own. The point in them is to help us get ready, they are not part of the workout. He does say that if we need to do push ups on our knees that's OK. THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS. Sit ups are another thing that sucks. My gut literally gets in the way of the motion. sigh
On to the workout. Dead lifts and air squats. We practice these over and over to make sure that we can do them correctly. Straight out of the gate he says that being tall sucks for doing dead lifts. He is right. Damn it. I have a terrible time staying on my heels. If you don't, he says, you will wear yourself out because your quads suck compared to your ass and hammies. Air squats aren't really that bad except my knees pop when I go down, I hope this will stop eventually. Sigh.
After practicing these and getting it down we start the work out of the day, or WOD. Its ten minutes of doing 5 dead lifts (DL) and 10 air squats (AS). They want us to do as many as possible, or 10AMRAP. He warns us not to go fast, to take our time and pace ourselves because it will kill us off. So what do I do? Bust out 4 sets of those bitches as fast as I can. Stupid. Insert nausea and light headiness. Omg, I feel like I am going to die. All in all, I spent about 4 minutes actually working out, and 6 mins trying to not vomit.
After the WOD, we stretch, which includes some old stretches we did in basketball, plus some yoga stretches. That part wasn't bad, except that I was chewing back vomit the whole time. I'm proud to say that I did it, and I did not vomit. I call that a win, well maybe not a win but at least it was not a lose.
Next day is Wednesday morning, we are going to weigh in and measure. Sigh. This is going to be a sad, sad day. Talk to you later on!
Day one is in the books, and let me tell you damn! Here is a break down of my first time.
I show up to this place and it is crowded! I wasn't expecting this. I was hoping there wouldn't be any real crossfitters there, I was hoping it would be just us newbies. Nope, it is nothing but guys and gals walking around who are super in shape and don't look like they know what food is supposed to taste like. I know that is silly, but shit!
Class starts and i notice the five people in my group. He-man is there, a young 20 year old guy who is in great shape is there, an overweight woman (thank God!), an ex solider who has numerous scars, and then my fat ass. Sigh. Not looking great.
We start with warm ups. 5 Burpees, 10 push ups, and 10 sit ups. Ladies and gentlemen, start your anxiety!!! I cannot do a single push up, and I cannot do a single sit up. Burpees? What the fuck are these? sigh. Thankfully, the instructor informs us that warm ups don't matter. We can do them at our own speed, and on our own. The point in them is to help us get ready, they are not part of the workout. He does say that if we need to do push ups on our knees that's OK. THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS. Sit ups are another thing that sucks. My gut literally gets in the way of the motion. sigh
On to the workout. Dead lifts and air squats. We practice these over and over to make sure that we can do them correctly. Straight out of the gate he says that being tall sucks for doing dead lifts. He is right. Damn it. I have a terrible time staying on my heels. If you don't, he says, you will wear yourself out because your quads suck compared to your ass and hammies. Air squats aren't really that bad except my knees pop when I go down, I hope this will stop eventually. Sigh.
After practicing these and getting it down we start the work out of the day, or WOD. Its ten minutes of doing 5 dead lifts (DL) and 10 air squats (AS). They want us to do as many as possible, or 10AMRAP. He warns us not to go fast, to take our time and pace ourselves because it will kill us off. So what do I do? Bust out 4 sets of those bitches as fast as I can. Stupid. Insert nausea and light headiness. Omg, I feel like I am going to die. All in all, I spent about 4 minutes actually working out, and 6 mins trying to not vomit.
After the WOD, we stretch, which includes some old stretches we did in basketball, plus some yoga stretches. That part wasn't bad, except that I was chewing back vomit the whole time. I'm proud to say that I did it, and I did not vomit. I call that a win, well maybe not a win but at least it was not a lose.
Next day is Wednesday morning, we are going to weigh in and measure. Sigh. This is going to be a sad, sad day. Talk to you later on!
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Disclaimer for reboot of this thing
Howdy to the 7 of you that actually follow this thing. I have decided that this is a great place for me to bitch and whine about my life without actually telling anyone directly. I hate those people who talk about their life over and over and never stop. This blog stuff will allow me to do it, and if you don't want to read it. THEN DON'T!
People comment a lot that my stuff I put on Facebook is funny and inspirational. Blah to that. I find myself posting there when I am frustrated, so maybe putting it here will help me and I wont have to look like I am complaining and whining.
This blog was originally going to just be my journey to lose weight, hence the name, but I think I am going to change it. I think I am going to have it be my personal journal and reflections. That is a better idea to me, as weight loss and changing habits is actually about becoming a better person. Losing the pounds is just an outward change, the real changes are internal and I think writing about it will help me along the way.
I should warn you, I plan on updating this daily hopefully, but at least multiple times per week. You will get an insight into my mind that should probably shock you and frighten you. I will bitch and whine and complain and sound pitiful; but it should also contain stuff that is uplifting and maybe funny? If this sounds like a waste of time, then unfollow me! Really easy.
People comment a lot that my stuff I put on Facebook is funny and inspirational. Blah to that. I find myself posting there when I am frustrated, so maybe putting it here will help me and I wont have to look like I am complaining and whining.
This blog was originally going to just be my journey to lose weight, hence the name, but I think I am going to change it. I think I am going to have it be my personal journal and reflections. That is a better idea to me, as weight loss and changing habits is actually about becoming a better person. Losing the pounds is just an outward change, the real changes are internal and I think writing about it will help me along the way.
I should warn you, I plan on updating this daily hopefully, but at least multiple times per week. You will get an insight into my mind that should probably shock you and frighten you. I will bitch and whine and complain and sound pitiful; but it should also contain stuff that is uplifting and maybe funny? If this sounds like a waste of time, then unfollow me! Really easy.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Goodbye, Bonnie
Ok, if you are not an animal lover, dont read this unless you need more ammunition to make fun of me with.
Nine years ago, my wife and i decided to buy a "test" baby. We mistakenly thought we would have no problems getting pregnant and that the dog would be a good trial. We went to Paragould, and picked out a small black and white fur ball that would change our lives forever. From the second I saw her, and the way she looked at me with her sassy little smooshed in face, I knew this was my dog. I remember her laying in her little box by the bed that first night, whimpering for her momma. I remember how she shook until we picked her up to comfort her scared little heart. Over the past 9 years, Bonnie has grown from a small little ball of fur, into something more than just a pet. She was my baby, my daughter, a friend for when I was sick or sad; Bonnie meant so much to me. I can fondly remember the way she would come bounding towards the door when I open it, mouth open eyes alert; or the way she would drag her skinny narrow little ass up on the couch to snuggle with me. I cannot count the number of times that I absent mindedly stroked her back while watching television. The way her little body felt all warm laying in bed next to me or the way the comforter that she napped on always smelt like Fritos!
Flash forward to 9 months ago and the birth of my children. Lilah and Jonah changed my perspective. My long time friend was suddenly pushed back in the pecking order. Love her as I do, I cannot put her ahead of my own flesh and blood. I am forced to pay more attention to them than her, forced to push her away when she gets to close to my children. It isn't fair, and I swear I could see that in her eyes. I have been torn for months now, Bonnie has steadily become depressed, always laying on the couch staring at me. She no longer runs towards me, or interacts with me like she used to. I am not being fair to her, and I hate it but I cannot help the decision that I had to make.
Tonight my wife sent me a text, "its done. She is gone." My world crumbled around me, no more little bundle of warmth on my couch next to me, no more smell of fritos over taking me when I shake out blankets. Our relationship was not always happiness and joy, there were many times that I got so angry at her that I put her little ass in her cage and left her there to sulk. I wasn't the perfect daddy to her, I know this. I hope the new family that she belongs to treats her better than we have of late, I hope they will shower her with affection and love that she deserves. She is a wonderful little companion and she deserves to be loved again.
So, its with saddness in my heart that I say Goodbye Bonster. I will miss you and I hope you are happy again.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
My Birthday
I am stunned at the amount of people who wished me a happy birthday on facebook. I realize its an impersonal (is that a word??) computer program where people can pretty much write what they want free of consequences; BUT it really means a lot to me that so many people took the three seconds required to post something.
So far for my birthday I am 0/2 on the presents that I asked for. The odd thing, I think this may be the best birthday I've ever had. I'm healthier than I have been since I was like 18. I have two beautiful healthy children. My wife and I are getting along great. My parents are in good health. My friends and those that I care about are doing great. Last night I learned something to be true that I would have NEVER, EVER IN A MILLION YEARS dreamed could be possible, and I have to tell ya, it warms me heart a tiny tiny bit. Hope I dont spend the whole damn night tonight with a goofy ass grin on my face.
So far for my birthday I am 0/2 on the presents that I asked for. The odd thing, I think this may be the best birthday I've ever had. I'm healthier than I have been since I was like 18. I have two beautiful healthy children. My wife and I are getting along great. My parents are in good health. My friends and those that I care about are doing great. Last night I learned something to be true that I would have NEVER, EVER IN A MILLION YEARS dreamed could be possible, and I have to tell ya, it warms me heart a tiny tiny bit. Hope I dont spend the whole damn night tonight with a goofy ass grin on my face.
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