Day two started off with me dreading the weigh in. How do I explain to these people that while yes, I am a huge fat tub of goo, I am actually 100 lbs lighter fat tub of goo than I was two years ago. I don't guess it matters, it just makes me feel a tiny bit better about being a fat tank ass. Before class starts, Anna Johnson (that's not her name now but it is what she will always be to me, Hi Anna!) tells me that she showed this blog to the coaches.... wait for it... damn. Panic! Did I talk crap about them? Are they going to PT me until my guts fall out? Sigh.
Back to the nightmare. Out of the gate, Luke calls me to weigh in first. The whole time I am staring at the scale thinking I am going to run away in shame the second he announces me weight. Why? Its not like people look at me and think wow I bet he weighs 75 lbs. Why does it upset me so much that I am so heavy? Like I said, I have come a long way from where I was, shouldn't I be proud of that? No. Sadly, people see me they don't know what I used to look like. They don't look at me and think wow that dude has busted his ass and lost a bunch of weight. I would need to wear a name badge around that showed a picture of the old me. Instead they see a huge fat guy, and probably think, "does he know how hard this stuff is???" Yes. I do. I am well aware of how hard crossfit is. I know it is going to suck and hurt, and make me feel like a huge turd and a loser. I know this. BUT, I also know that if I stick with it, chew back the vomit, and continue to make myself get up off the ground, then one day it will suck less. Then less, then less, then maybe people will look at me and think, damn that dude must work hard for that body. And there it is, I am shallow. Hell yes I am. One day, I will look at myself in the mirror and see a good looking guy, not the husk of a man I see now. And I will be proud, because I will have worked my ass off to get it.
Anyway, back to the story. The weigh in was no big deal. He measured me, we made a few jokes about how friendly Crossfit is because of the hugs, blah blah. So it wasn't a big damn deal, and I will actually have documented proof of my progress not just estimates or guesses like I had with atkins.
After everyone gets weighed in, we sit and listen to him discuss the Zone diet. It is mostly stuff that I have read twice now, in Atkin's book, and the Engineering the Alpha guy. The Zone thing is much closer to EtA than to atkins, because it treats carbohydrates as important instead of as the enemy. To me it makes much more sense than Atkins. He goes over the basic design of the diet and mentions that they will email us our information so we can build our diets. I lost 100 lbs eating less than 20 carbohydrates, I'm pretty sure I can handle the Zone.
Just when I think we are done, he says, time to work out! 3 Burpees, followed by kettle bell swings. The breakdown goes like this, each minute is a cycle, you do 3 burpees, then as many swings as you can. End of the minute and it starts over, but you carry you swings on. Once you hit 75 swings you are done! I start out very well, 20 swings per min x2, then 10 swings x2, for those of keeping track thats 4 sets of 3 burpees. Let me make a side comment on burpees. Burpees can KISS MY ASS. I enter min number 5 sitting on 65 swings... no big deal right? i can do this. The three burpees take me 20 seconds or maybe 30. All i know is I looked up at that damn clock and thought, NO WAY I AM DOING MORE F'ING BURPEES! So honestly do not remember anything except the single thought, that I was NOT DOING MORE BURPEES! HELL NO. Somehow I managed at 5:59 to swing that last one.
I wont bore you anymore, but instead of stretching with the group, I sat on a chair and did everything I could, prayed to the GI Gods, promised to eat grass, donate more money to charity, be good to poor people, etc. if I didn't vomit inside of the gym. Then I staggered out, and drove home light headed. It amazes me that 6 mins of working out can completely destroy me. I wonder what Friday has in store for me?
Oh and Hi Luke, and Sara (if you read this again!)
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Cross Fit Day One:
Day one is in the books, and let me tell you damn! Here is a break down of my first time.
I show up to this place and it is crowded! I wasn't expecting this. I was hoping there wouldn't be any real crossfitters there, I was hoping it would be just us newbies. Nope, it is nothing but guys and gals walking around who are super in shape and don't look like they know what food is supposed to taste like. I know that is silly, but shit!
Class starts and i notice the five people in my group. He-man is there, a young 20 year old guy who is in great shape is there, an overweight woman (thank God!), an ex solider who has numerous scars, and then my fat ass. Sigh. Not looking great.
We start with warm ups. 5 Burpees, 10 push ups, and 10 sit ups. Ladies and gentlemen, start your anxiety!!! I cannot do a single push up, and I cannot do a single sit up. Burpees? What the fuck are these? sigh. Thankfully, the instructor informs us that warm ups don't matter. We can do them at our own speed, and on our own. The point in them is to help us get ready, they are not part of the workout. He does say that if we need to do push ups on our knees that's OK. THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS. Sit ups are another thing that sucks. My gut literally gets in the way of the motion. sigh
On to the workout. Dead lifts and air squats. We practice these over and over to make sure that we can do them correctly. Straight out of the gate he says that being tall sucks for doing dead lifts. He is right. Damn it. I have a terrible time staying on my heels. If you don't, he says, you will wear yourself out because your quads suck compared to your ass and hammies. Air squats aren't really that bad except my knees pop when I go down, I hope this will stop eventually. Sigh.
After practicing these and getting it down we start the work out of the day, or WOD. Its ten minutes of doing 5 dead lifts (DL) and 10 air squats (AS). They want us to do as many as possible, or 10AMRAP. He warns us not to go fast, to take our time and pace ourselves because it will kill us off. So what do I do? Bust out 4 sets of those bitches as fast as I can. Stupid. Insert nausea and light headiness. Omg, I feel like I am going to die. All in all, I spent about 4 minutes actually working out, and 6 mins trying to not vomit.
After the WOD, we stretch, which includes some old stretches we did in basketball, plus some yoga stretches. That part wasn't bad, except that I was chewing back vomit the whole time. I'm proud to say that I did it, and I did not vomit. I call that a win, well maybe not a win but at least it was not a lose.
Next day is Wednesday morning, we are going to weigh in and measure. Sigh. This is going to be a sad, sad day. Talk to you later on!
Day one is in the books, and let me tell you damn! Here is a break down of my first time.
I show up to this place and it is crowded! I wasn't expecting this. I was hoping there wouldn't be any real crossfitters there, I was hoping it would be just us newbies. Nope, it is nothing but guys and gals walking around who are super in shape and don't look like they know what food is supposed to taste like. I know that is silly, but shit!
Class starts and i notice the five people in my group. He-man is there, a young 20 year old guy who is in great shape is there, an overweight woman (thank God!), an ex solider who has numerous scars, and then my fat ass. Sigh. Not looking great.
We start with warm ups. 5 Burpees, 10 push ups, and 10 sit ups. Ladies and gentlemen, start your anxiety!!! I cannot do a single push up, and I cannot do a single sit up. Burpees? What the fuck are these? sigh. Thankfully, the instructor informs us that warm ups don't matter. We can do them at our own speed, and on our own. The point in them is to help us get ready, they are not part of the workout. He does say that if we need to do push ups on our knees that's OK. THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS. Sit ups are another thing that sucks. My gut literally gets in the way of the motion. sigh
On to the workout. Dead lifts and air squats. We practice these over and over to make sure that we can do them correctly. Straight out of the gate he says that being tall sucks for doing dead lifts. He is right. Damn it. I have a terrible time staying on my heels. If you don't, he says, you will wear yourself out because your quads suck compared to your ass and hammies. Air squats aren't really that bad except my knees pop when I go down, I hope this will stop eventually. Sigh.
After practicing these and getting it down we start the work out of the day, or WOD. Its ten minutes of doing 5 dead lifts (DL) and 10 air squats (AS). They want us to do as many as possible, or 10AMRAP. He warns us not to go fast, to take our time and pace ourselves because it will kill us off. So what do I do? Bust out 4 sets of those bitches as fast as I can. Stupid. Insert nausea and light headiness. Omg, I feel like I am going to die. All in all, I spent about 4 minutes actually working out, and 6 mins trying to not vomit.
After the WOD, we stretch, which includes some old stretches we did in basketball, plus some yoga stretches. That part wasn't bad, except that I was chewing back vomit the whole time. I'm proud to say that I did it, and I did not vomit. I call that a win, well maybe not a win but at least it was not a lose.
Next day is Wednesday morning, we are going to weigh in and measure. Sigh. This is going to be a sad, sad day. Talk to you later on!
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Disclaimer for reboot of this thing
Howdy to the 7 of you that actually follow this thing. I have decided that this is a great place for me to bitch and whine about my life without actually telling anyone directly. I hate those people who talk about their life over and over and never stop. This blog stuff will allow me to do it, and if you don't want to read it. THEN DON'T!
People comment a lot that my stuff I put on Facebook is funny and inspirational. Blah to that. I find myself posting there when I am frustrated, so maybe putting it here will help me and I wont have to look like I am complaining and whining.
This blog was originally going to just be my journey to lose weight, hence the name, but I think I am going to change it. I think I am going to have it be my personal journal and reflections. That is a better idea to me, as weight loss and changing habits is actually about becoming a better person. Losing the pounds is just an outward change, the real changes are internal and I think writing about it will help me along the way.
I should warn you, I plan on updating this daily hopefully, but at least multiple times per week. You will get an insight into my mind that should probably shock you and frighten you. I will bitch and whine and complain and sound pitiful; but it should also contain stuff that is uplifting and maybe funny? If this sounds like a waste of time, then unfollow me! Really easy.
People comment a lot that my stuff I put on Facebook is funny and inspirational. Blah to that. I find myself posting there when I am frustrated, so maybe putting it here will help me and I wont have to look like I am complaining and whining.
This blog was originally going to just be my journey to lose weight, hence the name, but I think I am going to change it. I think I am going to have it be my personal journal and reflections. That is a better idea to me, as weight loss and changing habits is actually about becoming a better person. Losing the pounds is just an outward change, the real changes are internal and I think writing about it will help me along the way.
I should warn you, I plan on updating this daily hopefully, but at least multiple times per week. You will get an insight into my mind that should probably shock you and frighten you. I will bitch and whine and complain and sound pitiful; but it should also contain stuff that is uplifting and maybe funny? If this sounds like a waste of time, then unfollow me! Really easy.
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